The average American date now costs $189, according to a 2026 BMO survey. And that's before anyone pays the babysitter.
You want to date again. You also want to keep the lights on, the kids fed, and your savings from shrinking every time someone asks you out.
Here's the good news: the best dates were never about the bill. They're about attention, conversation, and whether you feel like yourself around this person. You can have all of that for very little money.
Key Takeaways
- For a single mom, a "date" has two price tags: the outing and the sitter. Plan for both.
- Babysitting swaps and dates during school hours or custody time can bring childcare costs to zero.
- Low-cost dates often reveal more about a person than expensive ones do.
- Give dating its own small line in your budget so fun doesn't come with guilt.
- Anyone you've only met online who asks for money is a red flag. Full stop.
The Real Cost of a Night Out When You're a Mom
BMO's 2026 Real Financial Progress Index, conducted by Ipsos, found the average all-in date spend rose to $189, up from $168 a year earlier. Half of Americans said they've gone on fewer dates or picked less expensive activities. You're not the only one rethinking this.
Then add childcare. Care.com puts the national average babysitter rate at $19.81 an hour, with families typically adding about 50 cents to $1 an hour for each additional child.
What one average date night can cost a single mom: a $189 date plus about $79 for four hours of babysitting at $19.81 an hour.
Twice a month, that's more than $500. So let's shrink both price tags.
Cut the Childcare Cost First
Start a babysitting swap
Find one or two other parents you trust, ideally other single parents, and trade evenings. You watch their kids one Friday; they watch yours the next. No money changes hands.
- Keep it fair: trade hour for hour, and keep a simple shared note of who owes whom.
- Agree on the basics: bedtimes, screen rules, allergies, and who to call in an emergency.
If you're still rebuilding your circle, our guide to rebuilding your support system has ideas for finding your people.
Date when childcare is already covered
A breakfast date while the kids are at school costs nothing extra in childcare. So does a lunch break, or a Saturday afternoon during your co-parent's weekend. For calendars and last-minute cancellations, see Single Mom Dating: Realistic Logistics That Actually Work.
17 Low-Cost Dates That Still Feel Special
Special doesn't mean expensive. Match the date to your budget, your energy, and your kid-free time.
Cost key (rough guide): Free = no spending needed · $ = a few dollars, under about $20 · $$ = about $20–$50 total.
| Date idea | Cost | Vibe | Kid-free time |
|---|---|---|---|
| Sunset picnic in a park | $ | Relaxed, lots of talking | About 2 hrs |
| Farmers market stroll and a shared pastry | $ | Easy, daytime, low pressure | About 1.5 hrs |
| Coffee and a walk | $ | Perfect first date | About 1 hr |
| Breakfast while kids are at school | $–$$ | Fresh, daytime | None extra (school hours) |
| Lunch-break date | $ | Quick, no-fuss | 45 min to 1 hr |
| Free museum day or library event | Free | Curious, conversation-starting | About 2 hrs |
| Hiking trail or nature preserve | Free | Active, outdoorsy | 2–3 hrs |
| Free outdoor concert or movie night | Free | Fun, community feel | 2–3 hrs |
| Beach, lake, or riverfront sunset walk | Free | Romantic, calm | About 1.5 hrs |
| Art walk or gallery night | Free | Creative | About 2 hrs |
| Bookstore date: pick a book for each other | Free–$ | Thoughtful, revealing | About 1.5 hrs |
| Trivia night (order one thing each) | $ | Playful, a little competitive | About 2 hrs |
| Volunteer shift together | Free | Shows real values | 2–3 hrs |
| Happy-hour appetizers | $–$$ | Classic, social | About 1.5 hrs |
| Mini golf or bowling | $$ | Silly, takes the pressure off | About 2 hrs |
| Stargazing with a thermos of cocoa | Free–$ | Dreamy, quiet | 2–3 hrs |
| Cook dinner together and split groceries (later dates only) | $–$$ | Cozy, teamwork | About 3 hrs |
One safety note: keep early dates in public places, and save at-home dinners for once real trust is built. Your address is something a person earns.
Free: The Emergency Budget Reset
Want room for a little fun without the money stress? Start with five simple money moves that steady your first 30 days.
Get the Free Guide →Who Pays? Keep It Simple
There's no single rule anymore, and the data shows it. In the same BMO survey, 71% of men said they expect to pay for everything early in a relationship, while 52% of women said they expect to split the bill.
Who expects to pay? (U.S. adults, 2026)
A few simple guidelines take the awkwardness out:
- Whoever does the inviting usually offers to pay.
- Offer to split, and then accept graciously either way.
- If money is tight, suggest the date. A farmers market or a sunset walk keeps the cost low for both of you.
Give Dating Its Own Line in Your Budget
Money guilt can ruin a good evening. Decide ahead of time what you can spend, so the decision is already made.
- Pick a monthly number that fits after essentials and savings, even if it's small.
- Include childcare in that number, not just the outing.
- Keep it separate. A cash envelope or a separate savings bucket works well.
- When it's gone, it's gone. Switch to the free side of the table until next month.
If you give every dollar a job, this becomes one more category. Our guide to zero-based budgeting after divorce shows how. If spreadsheets make you want to hide, try the no-budget budget instead.
Money Red Flags on Dates
Romance scams are big business. The FTC reported that nearly 70,000 people lost $1.3 billion to romance scams in 2022. The most common lie: a friend or relative is sick, hurt, or in jail, and money is needed fast.
The FTC's advice is blunt: a new online "friend" who asks for money is a scammer. Watch for these:
- He asks to borrow money, or for gift cards, wire transfers, or cryptocurrency.
- He has a sudden emergency right as things start feeling serious.
- He wants to talk about your money, your settlement, or a "can't-miss" investment.
- He always has a reason he can't meet in person or video chat.
- He expects you to fund every date, or pressures you toward plans you've said you can't afford.
If something feels off, stop sending messages and report it at ReportFraud.ftc.gov. You can read more on the FTC's romance scams page and in our dating app safety guide. Source for the figures: FTC, February 2023.
Why Value Matters More Than Spend
An expensive dinner can hide a lot. A two-hour walk can't. You notice how someone listens, whether he's kind to the barista, and whether you laugh easily.
Low-cost dates also show you something about values. Someone who's happy with a picnic and a good conversation is telling you what matters to him. So is someone who sulks when it isn't a steakhouse.
Scripture put it this way long before dating apps: "Better a small serving of vegetables with love than a fattened calf with hatred" (Proverbs 15:17). What you're looking for doesn't come with a price tag.
Always forward, never backward.
Heart-Centered Dating™
If you want to date in a way that honors your values, your kids, and your peace, this course helps you get clear on what you're really looking for and spot healthy love early. It's dating with wisdom, not pressure.
Explore Heart-Centered Dating™ →Frequently Asked Questions
How much does a babysitter cost for date night?
Care.com lists a national average of about $19.81 an hour as of early 2026, with roughly 50 cents to $1 more per hour for each additional child. Rates vary widely by city, so check local rates before you budget.
How can a single mom date with no money?
Choose free dates like walks, hikes, free museum days, and outdoor concerts, and schedule them when childcare is already covered: school hours, lunch breaks, or your co-parent's time. A babysitting swap with another parent can cover evenings at no cost.
Who should pay on a first date?
There's no single rule. The person who invites often offers to pay, and it's kind to offer to split. If money is tight, suggest a low-cost date so neither of you feels pressure.
What are the signs of a romance scam?
Requests for money, gift cards, wire transfers, or crypto; a sudden emergency; talk of investments; and excuses to avoid meeting in person or on video. If someone you met online asks for money, stop contact and report it to the FTC.
This article is for educational purposes only and is not financial, legal, or counseling advice. Costs vary by location; check current local rates. Always meet new dates in public places and tell someone you trust where you'll be. If you believe you've been scammed, report it at ReportFraud.ftc.gov. If you are in danger, call 911 or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.